The Need to Succeed

A Life often does not pan out the way we plan. I did say I would be writing a daily blog, but many days have passed and nothing penned. I will confess that I have a weakness to sticking to my guns; however my computer did crash and was down for a while.

I also said that I would look at what the gospel means, instead of trying to teach like so many in a better position than myself to teach. There are so many who have been gifted with teaching, so let me leave it to them. I think it would be better to shift gears and concentrate on life and what it has taught me and what I am still learning.

I have so often chased the dream of success and the want to find acceptance that I have often lost my way. I think of the time when I way eighteen and was told by my rugby coach that it had already been decided that the Transvaal 8^th man had already been decided on - even before Craven week trails. Vaughan Botha was his name and he was the 8^th man for Sandringham High School. Without making too much noise about our game against Sandringham, all I will say is that I was so driven in that game to achieve and prove to all the selectors watching that game that they had made a mistake and forgotten about me. It was probably my best game of the season. I was so driven I can clearly remember it as if it was yesterday. After crunching him in a tackle I ran to my coach on the sideline where he stood with all the other selectors and with arrogance and confidence saying, “He is nothing Vis (my coach’s nickname)” and then running back onto the field. We won that game 6-3.

I was then called up for the Transvaal’s Craven week trails and I remember clearly thinking that if I make the side my holiday in Plettenberg Bay would elude me. So driven on the one hand and yet scared I may lose out on the pleasure of life. I never made the actual trails as I was on crutches. Angry on the one hand but relieved that Plett and my holiday was back on the cards with all my mates.

There are many other incidents I could refer to however let me use the most recent. I have been trading on the JSE (stock market). A volatile monetary system that is as unstable as the tossing sea. Once again driven by my need to achieve and turn a million into millions. Believing that I would succeed - desperate to succeed - yet listening to many voices, looking at the fundamentals, studying technical analysis and making bullish moves - needless to say not achieving my objective. Once again I was driven by my need to find approval of family, and even possibly friends. This hunger to achieve was larger than life itself, yet just another decoy, to take my eyes off the ball. The answer to my dilemma is once again the ever wise, true and faithful saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ and his word. He says with food and raiment be content and come to the river of life and drink and you will find life.

You see, in the scenarios above - the same type of mistake yet with different consequences. How long will it take me to learn life’s lessons? I suppose it will take just as long as I take to learn them.

Signing off

Tyrone