My First Entry 24-04-2010
Considering life and my journey, it has had many highs as well as lows. How do we as individuals value its worth? I cannot speak for you but let me endeavour to tell my story as I have come to understand it. Life is full of choices and not only are decisions made instinctively on a daily basis but minute by minute our brains process information and take action. Often I have made terrible choices and bare the marks in my body to prove it. I once thought that life was about achievement on the sport field and as a young boy I lived for it. It was the place I could receive recognition. Later on in life the world seemed to be my oyster, I thought wine, woman and song was where it was at. Yet deep down there seemed to be an empty place I could not fill. Then the day came along when my eyes were opened to life and its purpose, what a glorious day that was. I can still remember it with clarity, how tears of joy rolled down my cheeks and I needed to tell the world. I came face to face with the Lord of all creation, the only true and living God, the great I Am, Jesus Christ Himself. This would be hard to understand if you have not had a similar experience. At last life made sense, it had real purpose. I now had substance to live for, heaven and all its glory, but not only the fruits of heaven (joy, peace, love and the like) but the prospect of seeing this perfect God in person and to live with Him for eternity. Wow what opportunity!
It is at this point in my life I choose to share my journey with you... This is where true joy and absolute misery has played it role. This is where all my decisions begin to outplay themselves some good but with many shocking choices and to my detriment, not only in this life but in the life to come. But, you see once your eyes have been opened, no matter where you look or where you turn, life and its truth will look you sternly in the eye and leave you questioning all your bad decisions. I have in times gone by tried to escape from God’s truth and pretended to be somebody else. Something like an actor playing a different role for different productions. Going with the flow of whomever I was with at the time. “Birds of a feather flock together” rings true.
You see, once you know the truth you cannot pretend not to. And so through my life I have blown hot and cold on many occasions. At times because of my understanding of God’s word I would serve Him and forsake sin and all its pleasures. Then at other time I would serve God and justify sin. Or forsake God and live a life of sin. Yet wherever I found myself I could never pretend even as an actor in whatever role to not know the truth or the call on my life.
You see, God is the same yesterday, today and will be forever. He is perfect and cannot change. When something is perfect it means there is no room for improvement. His rule for David is the same rule for me and you. He is light and in Him is no darkness. It is impossible for Him to sin. He cannot and will not justify sin. This is why He sent His Son to live on earth as a man, without sin and yet to pay the price for sin, making a way for all whom would call upon Him as Lord and Saviour. This is such a remarkable act of mercy and grace it is almost unbelievable. But, if you can believe it then this blog may have some insight for your life. No matter where you may find yourself, no matter what part you are acting out in whatever feature that now surrounds your life. The way back is just a call away. Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved (Romans 10: 13).
You may say I have done that and look at my life now, it is full of sin and I have tried it and I have failed miserably. All I have to say to you is what the Lord Jesus said to me. It was not a mystical voice from heaven but a man (C.H. Spurgeon) repeating His words from scripture in one of His sermons. A bruised reed shall he not break, And smoking flax shall he not quench, until he send forth judgment unto victory (Matthew 12: 20). I recall the day I stood on the abyss of hell looking into all its filth and crying out to my Saviour and when I should have been discarded and throw to the dogs for them to tear my flesh to pieces God in His tender mercy extended yet again His mercy to me and I must believe He is willing to extend it to all His children as there is no partiality with God. If you have been called, if you have been chosen there is an adversary who goes around like a roaring lion seeking to devour all who have wandered from the sheep fold. BUT Jesus Christ Gods only Son has conquered death, hell and the Grave. Call and believe on Him, there is no valley too deep for Him so wherever you find yourself, while you have breath you have hope, let no-one tell you anything different.
Signing off,
May you find grace...
Tyrone, a brother with many regrets, yet now with hope.
